Lose The Daily To-Do List

and let go of the guilt

One thing that I love to do (and am kind of awesome at), is to take an overwhelming task or THING in my life and find a “do-less” way of tackling it. As we grow into our roles as moms, it is through trial and error that we make it through each stage parenthood. As a result, a lot of the things we “just do” eventually stop working. The daily to-to list is one of them! And momma, it is time to make your list work WITH you, instead of being a glaring sign of failure every day.

Okay, you are not a failure, and lists are TOTALLY amazing in every way. But if at the end of the day, you feel terrible about not getting all of the things done on your list, then something isn’t working in your system.

It’s not you, it’s the system!!

I have always been a list-maker, but once I was pregnant with my first child, it was like I needed lists to even get me through the day. Baby brain is real, my friends! Once she was born, there were a bunch of NEW lists: feeding schedules, sleep schedules, doctor appointments, oh my!

Fast forward a few years, and I was buried in lists of things I wanted and needed to get done. Another kid, a job, multiple things to manage…it was just #SOMUCH! And every day when I thought about all of those uncrossed-off items, I felt BAD about myself. Lists are supposed to help, not hurt, amirght?

It was time to rethink my cherished lists. With just a few simple changes to that to-do list, I was less stressed, accomplished (almost) everything I needed to, and even saw other areas of my life improve.

So what is the magic secret?

Stop Making Daily To-Do Lists!

Don’t freak out - you get to keep your to-do list. I mean, we’re MOMS - we need them ;) . Instead, I want you to try my weekly to-do list instead. Yup - instead of planning set tasks for each day, I now only plan once a week!

When you have a daily list in your head or on paper, it is like you are keeping score each day.

And when you don’t finish everything, the next day becomes even busier. It snowballs into a big ball of stress because you can’t seem to get everything done.

With a weekly to-do list, you are still acknowledging what needs to get done that week.

The big difference is that you are giving yourself space and grace for when life happens, which it always does when you have children. Maybe you move that big task to another day, and do a smaller task (or none at all!) in between mopping up a spaghetti explosion while the teething baby clings to you.

How I Structure My Weekly To-Do List

I like to plan my weekly to-do list on Sundays, but do whatever works for you. I sit down with a piece of paper (not fancy over here!), the calendar in front of me, and I spend probably ten minutes total creating my list for the whole week. These are the three “sections” that I use.

1. The weekly overview - First, I make note of important things that will impact the week. These things will help inform what I put on my to-do list later.

My menstrual cycle. I use an app called Flo to help me keep tabs on things. What I like most about this app is that it lets me know my predicted energy and mood for each week of my cycle. Pretty cool! Now I can look ahead and plan for those super-low energy days that I know too well.
The moon cycle. It may sound woo-woo to you, but the moon’s gravity has an intense effect on the earth. I’ve noticed that things just go smoother during certain moon phases, while things get a lil’ crazy during others (full moon, anyone?).
Special dates. Are there any days off school, special events, or holidays? Those events are going to change how much you get done that week.
Weekly focus. Sometimes, I know that I need to spend more time on one area of my life than others, and will set that as an intention or focus for the week; more connection with my children, getting outside every day, or drinking enough water - like I am trying to do this week. When you write something down, you give it power. So why not give your intention a bit more oomph for the week?

2. The universe list - You can call it the universe list if you like, or make it a list to God; this is the place I write my hopes for the week about things that are out of my control. I may write that “I hope for better sleep for my children this week,” or “I pray for the health of my parents.” I write it down, and put it out there for the universe to deal with!

3. The actual to-do list - This is the place I list all of the tasks I want to get done in a week. I take into consideration anything from section one that might impact the week - like a day off of school - and then write it all down.

Now What?

When you create a list for the week, instead of for a day, you take a ton of pressure off of yourself. Of course you still want to get everything done, but now you have some freedom to pick and choose when it happens; which is perfect when you want to snuggle up with your kiddos for a rainy-day movie, instead of cleaning the linen closet.

Here is another great blog post I wrote if you need help DECIDING what should go on the to do list in the first place