Why You’re Stressed All The Time

Hint: It’s right in front of you!

If you have been feeling scattered, stressed, and like your brain is just going in too many directions, you are not alone. The world is going through some crazy things right now, and us moms are doing our best to keep it all together. While you can’t change world events, there are some things you can do to lower your stress - and there is a BIG one that is right in front of you.

Yup, it's SOCIAL MEDIA. Before you roll your eyes at me because you’ve heard it all before, I have found a solution to stopping the time suck of all those apps.

Scrolling sucks, but it’s not your fault!

I love social media - and heck, you are probably even reading this through a certain app! It is so amazing that social media, when used within the right context, can connect you to people around the world. But these platforms are specifically designed to keep you on them.

So I am giving us all some grace - it is straight up NOT your fault that these platforms and apps are created by professionals, and run by algorithms to show you content that you are most likely to interact with (and keep you there longer).

We know we are doing it - “Oh, I’m just scrolling!” But what you’re doing is using a tool that keeps you busy - not productive. The bad (good?) news is that as a grown up adult, it is your responsibility to take action to combat the stress and distraction that is coming into your life. And I have a solution!

My Social Media Epiphany

I am a person who really tries to be intentional with my time, including time spent on my phone. I gave myself boundaries on “screen time”, and thought I was doing pretty good. But this past weekend, I got a huge shock. On Saturday, I zoomed past my boundary by THREE HOURS! Not only that, it was three hours of almost entirely social media.

I suddenly saw that there was a direct link between me spending all that time on my phone, and how stressed out I was. I had a lot of important things planned out for my day, yet I let my phone get in the way.

If I hadn’t been scrolling, I would have been doing the meaningful and productive tasks that I had truly wanted to do. I let my phone take away:

Time from my precious people
The tasks I wanted to do, to prepare for a day of rest on Sunday
Exercising that day
Time from my business (because I was too busy looking at other people)
A shower - which I really needed!

Of course, in the moments spent scrolling, I didn’t realize what I was losing out on. It was only later that day, when I was all stressed and annoyed with myself that I saw what a time suck all that screen time was.

Clearly, my boundaries were not working. And that is when I found one that works!

A no-fail way to set social media boundaries that work

So what is my big secret? On Sunday, I deleted the apps off my phone. Don’t freak out! I put them all back on Monday morning, and everything was still there waiting for me. Yes, I found myself picking up my phone to check email, or see how many notifications I had on Instagram (#SundayFunday, amiright?). But with the apps gone, I couldn’t - and it was SO EASY to just put the phone down.

Boundaries only work if they work for you. Setting myself an arbitrary number of minutes or hours of screen time didn’t work, because it is so easy to get lost in the scroll. I couldn’t control myself, so I had to change up how my boundary worked.

I am intentional with my time, because we only have so much of it in a day. I want my moments to count, and for my family, Sundays are a day to connect and rest. My phone was getting in the way of what I truly desired for that day, so I made a change.

And honestly, it wasn’t even that hard.

The benefits of taking a break from scrolling

We all know that we need to have boundaries for using social media, but it is HARD! And when we don’t limit ourselves, we find ourselves scattered, drained, and maybe even jealous of others.

By taking my most-used apps off my phone for just one day, I felt so much lighter! I encourage you to give it a try. You will:

Feel peace. There is no guilt for mindlessly picking up your phone, when your brain is telling you that you should be doing something else.
Be relaxed. There is something hunching over the blue light of the screen, that creates a tension in your body. By taking a break, your whole body feels different!
Pour into your people, because you are physically and mentally present with them. You will pay more attention to their needs and your own, building rich relationships with the people right in front of you.

You don’t need to quit social media

Again, there is beauty and purpose in social media that allows us to meet others across the world. But is it taking away from the people sharing a home with you? For me, it was. Social media is not a bad thing, but it can be a distraction to what we really want. So from now on, Sunday is an app-free day for me.

I want to challenge you to remove the apps from your phone. If you are super addicted, maybe it is for just half a day. Maybe it’s after dinner. Maybe it’s a whole day or even the whole weekend! Just eliminate the distraction for a bit.

That decision fatigue of “should I go on the app, should I not? Should I stop now?” That background decision making takes up so much processing power, not to mention the comparing of others, and absorbing so much fluff. You know how your computer slows down when you have too many tabs and programs open? It is the same with your brain. Give it a break! You deserve it.