You Don't Need a Miracle Morning
(and what to do instead)
“Miracle Morning.” Ahhh, it sounds so… Well… Miraculous! If you haven’t heard of The Miracle Morning, you certainly have come across some sort of advice to create a morning routine before the kids wake up, so you can start the day fresh and empowered and ready for whatever comes your way. Well, I am here to tell you that you don’t actually need a morning routine to have a successful day. (Gasp! 😮)
Why I Don’t Have a Morning Routine (at least right now)
Okay, I do have a morning routine - but just not before my kids get up! If I were to write in my journal, do yoga, read my bible, and shower before the kids woke up, I’d have to get up at three a.m.! My children are early risers, and there is no way I am getting up to “fill my cup” while it is still dark out.
I am all for routines and rituals, but the idea that we need to start our day off glowing with promise actually sets us up for failure. While the idea of a relaxing and fulfilling morning may sound amazing, it doesn’t take into account the struggles so many of us have as mothers: a newborn, a toddler that wakes several times a night, being pregnant, or you are simply behind on sleep!
In fact, this kind of “perfect morning routine” messaging sets us up to feel like complete failures before everyone is even awake. And starting the day like that has a lot of really big consequences.
When we start the day already feeling behind, like we’ve missed out on this big opportunity to “find our peace”, or whatever, before our kids wake up, it bleeds into the rest of the day and has the potential to ruin the rest of your day.
What to Do Instead
The idea of a “Miracle Morning” is to have a routine in place where you can be mindful, take some me-time, reflect, and practice some self care. I am all for that! It just doesn’t happen to fit with my season of life. Instead, I have found a way to incorporate all of these things into my day, in a way that is a lot simpler and easier to follow through on than waking up at three a.m. to do sun salutations. #yafeelme?
Rather than attempting to find a peaceful, uninterrupted hour to dedicate to yourself, I invite you to intentionally create small moments and rituals alongside what you are already doing throughout your day. By folding these mini rituals into your everyday life, you are filling your cup as you go; it doesn’t need to be all at once.
The Benefits of Ditching Morning Rituals
You get more sleep! If you can create rituals alongside your daily activities, you can sleep in longer! This is good news. Momma’s gotta get her rest! Plus, sleep in itself can be its own spiritual practice.
You start each day with promise. There is no more waking up and feeling like a failure because you didn’t journal, or didn’t work out before the kids woke up. It is just another day, and you have those moments planned for later when it works for you.
You enjoy your days more. You are going to bring in the sense of the sacred and the beautiful and the quiet into every part of your day, instead of just that one slice of the morning.
I hope that by giving up the idea of the perfect morning ritual, you will free up a burden you’ve been carrying, and find a way that works with the season of life you are in. All of the components of a “morning ritual” are good ones - if they fit into your current life.
How to Incorporate Rituals Into Your Day
Morning rituals are about making time for what matters to you, self-care, and personal growth. As a mom who doesn’t want to get up in the middle of the night to do this, I have found ways to achieve the same results throughout my day. In fact, I think it might even be a better solution!
All day long, I have little rituals that lift me up and bring me joy, peace, and happiness. Not too shabby.
The key is to identify parts of your daily routine in which you can bring mindfulness to, or add in those “cup filling” activities. Some very simple ideas could be:
While drinking your morning coffee, make it a time to play with your child on the floor. Truly focus on being present, and enjoying the time together in the moment. Make it about connection and coffee.
Instead of making the kids breakfast on your own, designate a day each week for each child to help. If that is too much at seven a.m. for you (I hear that!), perhaps put on some praise and worship music or the new Taylor Swift album to keep you company. Lose yourself in the music while doing a monotonous, regular task.
We all have to pee - so when you go to the bathroom, use it as a reminder to do something for yourself. Take three deep cleansing breaths to reset your mind. Indulge in applying a scented hand lotion, or even just drink a big glass of water to hydrate your body.
One of my own rituals is that when I put the kids down for their afternoon nap, I set a timer for ten minutes, and I do a quick tidy up of the house. Creating order helps me feel really calm, and it sets me up for a successful afternoon. While I do that, I put on a devotional or a podcast I’ve been wanting to listen to. It’s about taking something I am doing anyways, and finding a way to do it in a more enjoyable way.
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What if Your Morning Ritual Works?
If you have a morning routine, and you are in a season where you are able to have some time in the morning, I am not telling you to stop! Rather, I want to let people off the hook, who don't have the time, energy, or mental stamina right now to do that. If a baby who is up all night is taking away from your sleep, getting up early to attempt a perfectly curated morning is not going to serve you well.
Whether you choose a morning ritual or daily rituals to find peace and self-care in your life, be sure to acknowledge the season that you are in. Much like passing through each calendar year, we have to let our bodies adapt to each season’s rhythm and weather changes. Our motherhood and lives have different seasons and rhythms as well. And it is a good thing when you can fold in happy little rituals, and find peace and mindfulness within your days, without feeling like you have to wake up at three a.m.